If you promote the stigma of mental illness in any way, you are an accessory to murder.

If you promote the stigma of mental illness in any way, you are an accessory to murder.

This is my personal brand. It is a huge part of my identity. It is about punching the vast majority of society directly in the face. It is about making them feel uncomfortable so they can understand the truth behind their actions and thought processes. Stop the stigma campaigns have existed for years, yet the stigma is as loud and proud as it ever has been. I can confirm.

The stigma is exactly what makes people delay seeking treatment and causes people to die a miserable death. Imagine judging someone with cancer for being weak or telling them to snap out of it. You would be an awful human being. Yet, it is the point of entry for millions of people who suffer from mental illness. This is a public health crisis with no real sense of urgency to stop it. My goal is to change that. I will do so until my last breath.

People won’t change their beliefs because they don’t truly understand the brain disease that is mental illness. That in itself is yet another example of the stigma. I would guess that 99% of people don’t actually know the science of cancer, but they certainly know that it sucks to be diagnosed with it, watch people die from it, and therefore feel sadness about it. That unfortunately doesn’t apply here. With mental illness, we need to explain the disease – practically beg for understanding.

So if you are proudly wearing your PulverizeTheStigma swag and are asked that question, the answer is, Jon Nelson wants the “stupid people” in the world to know they are murdering people simply due to their thought process that is false. If you stop being ignorant, you can save millions of lives. You can either choose to be a good human being or be stupid and kill people. It’s a pretty simple choice to me.

I hope these types of people are offended by being called stupid – that makes me happy. They will remember me. They will remember my message. They will know what to do if they are ever faced with that scenario. Show empathy. Be kind. Save lives. And THAT is all that matters.

Nope. It’s way worse. It is the primary reason so many people suffer and die from this maniacal disease. The disease is trying to kill you. When it accomplishes its goal of murdering you, it even laughs at you after death, as the stigma is now transferred to the family. It continues to label you. Now they can feel awkward and labeled. Your death remains uncomfortable and awkward for your family to speak about because of the way the brain disease makes you die – by suicide. The brain disease takes control of your body and kills you. But remember, it is not the healthy version of you that dies by suicide. It is the disease taking control of your body and killing you. The stigma continues to flourish after death and laughs at the continued misery it causes.

I could provide a zillion examples but I am going to keep it to a couple to make you think differently and understand how pervasive it is in society.

1. When I had the audacity to tell someone I was suffering tremendously from treatment-resistant major depressive disorder, 99% of the time they wouldn't say anything. They would just stare at me. That did nothing but make me feel awkward and even more miserable which is the last thing anyone suffering through hell needs.
2. Imagine searching for years to find a medication that works for your migraines. You finally find the right medication and you live a migraine-free life. There is not a single person in the world that would ask you if you are now going to stop taking your medication. BUT, for mental illness, it’s the exact opposite. It’s one of the questions people get all the time when they start feeling relief from the hell.
3. If you lose a loved one to any other disease it is viewed with sadness and empathy from society. Everyone rallies around you and your family. There is a feeling of sadness, warmth, and a strong desire to help. The primary cause of death from mental illness is suicide. The entire goal of mental illness is to take control over your entire – to cut every connection you have to reality and kill you. I’m not sure there is a worse way to die. After death, the stigma that person felt for years is now transferred to the family. They now feel shame and awkwardness from society. They now feel labeled and have a difficult time speaking about the cause of death because of irrational judgment from society. Rather than a communal hug, they now get the blank stares and judgment. How do we live in a world where any of this is acceptable?

The best friend of mental illness is the stigma. It sits back and laughs at the havoc it wreaks. It makes the disease of mental illness thrive with the ultimate goal of death. If there was no stigma, people would seek treatment immediately and have a much better chance of conquering mental illness. Pick any other disease and think how much it would flourish if you waited almost a decade to treat it.

This is the primary question I get. It is very simple. Acknowledge their struggle. Show empathy. Treat them like you would if you found out they were diagnosed with cancer. Do something proactively kind for them. If they have a caregiver, take something off their plate. When someone would do something proactively kind for my wife or children, it meant the world to me. And, be sure to contact a medical expert so that your friends/loved ones can get the help they need and deserve.

Based on my experience, it is abysmal. The majority of my care was done as private pay. I received denial letters for every medical intervention I tried to get, even when I exceeded medical necessity. Each denial letter was the insurance company indirectly telling me they wanted me to die. Not only was I fighting to stay alive, I was fighting to not be financially ruined. I incurred significant medical debt but was very fortunate to come out the other side in remission from this awful disease. Get ready to not only fight the disease but to fight insurance companies, too. It is ridiculous that in the “best country in the world” this is the reality but it absolutely is.

My treatment progression was as follows:

1. PCP visit for my first several antidepressants.
2. I started with seeing a talk therapist. With telehealth, it is far more accessible now to get talk therapy. Continue this journey until you find the right therapist for you.
3. Established a relationship with a psychiatrist to manage my medications after multiple medication failures with my PCP.
4. Residential treatment facility which was my version of a hospitalization. I attended two 30-day programs that focused on mood disorders and were instrumental in keeping me alive.
5. Partial hospitalization plan (PHP). This is the step down after a residential or hospital stay. Mine was local and from 9am – 3pm, 5 days a week, and included a mixture of education, medication management, group therapy, and individual therapy.
6. Intensive outpatient program (IOP). This is the step down after PHP and is a shortened 3-hour session, 3 days per week. Some people start with an IOP when they need further help beyond standard talk therapy.
7. Psychedelics. Mine was ketamine. It was helpful in simply providing relief. This can be done at a psychiatrist’s office with an FDA-approved medication or at a ketamine infusion center.
8. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS).
9. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
10. Clinical trial for deep brain stimulation for treatment-resistant major depressive disorder.

I don’t feel the electricity, but when I go without it, I immediately fall back into the disease of depression within a couple of days. The supplemental electricity has saved my life and removed the disease from my body. Electricity is my medicine.

It is not currently FDA approved, however, Abbott is beginning clinical trials for my device at the end of 2024.

Just let them know you are there when they are ready for help. You can’t force them to get help, but you can create an environment where they don’t feel the need to remain silent for fear of being judged. Simply being there for them and providing a safe space for them to find relief is huge. Don’t be overly persistent, but try to find things that will provide moments of joy for them. Try to figure out ways to expose them to whatever their passions were prior to the disease taking over their mind and body. One that worked great for me was when a friend purchased tickets for a comedy show and got me out of the house and I got to laugh. It provided a twinge of relief. Help find them moments of joy.

Every single person should seek therapy whether you are fighting a brain disease or not. It is commonplace to proactively take care of your teeth, eyes, and physical health – so why not do the same thing for the most important organ in the body, your brain? The stigma has created this feeling that you should avoid therapy. In truth, it’s the exact opposite. You are not weak for seeking therapy. You are a human being managing life in a complex world and you are strong for seeking therapy. Make it part of your routine and be loud and proud of it. Doing so will help normalize therapy.

This is an easy one. Flip the script to show how it’s a competition. Don’t let the stigma win. It wants you to remain silent. It wants you to feel awkward and ashamed. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. It is a brain disease that needs to be treated. The disease thrives because the vast majority of those suffering wait years to seek help. That delay in treatment creates an advantage and environment for the disease to flourish. Don’t let it win.

The medical reason is avolition. The definition of avolition is to have a lack of interest or engagement in goal-directed behavior. In other words… no interest in anything, even just the normal tasks of daily living. It is why daily, routine activities are so difficult to do. Brushing my teeth was a Herculean effort. In my decade-long battle with mental illness, not a single person mentioned this to me until the day of my surgery. That is a HUGE miss by our medical community. Not knowing this fact made me feel even worse about myself. The disease loved that. I knew that I should diet, exercise, and make healthy decisions but I couldn’t do it. My actions of sleeping all day and making poor choices to feel relief were seen as character flaws. They were purely the most common symptom from the disease that nobody explained to me. Not knowing this caused me an incredible amount of anguish. If someone you know has drawn the unlucky cards of suffering from mental illness, proactively talk with them about avolition.

I loved anything that would make me laugh. Whether that meant watching reruns of The Office or surrounding myself with people who made me feel lighter. Any relief was a win for the day. I also found myself consumed with music. When I would be comforted by a song, I would play it on repeat. My primary song for comfort was Amsterdam by Coldplay. When I was sick, it was like a hug. It was so comforting. This song made me love my wife even more whenever I listened to it, because it made me view her as the person that was keeping me alive. I listen to it differently now, since my surgery. It just makes me happy. It commemorates my long journey with mental illness and fuels my passion to keep fighting for everyone else.

I also found unhealthy ways to cope and escape. Those included over-eating, abusing substances, and over-sleeping. If you are a friend or caregiver, watch out for these behaviors, as they are true measuring sticks for how bad the disease is flourishing inside someone’s body and mind. When you feel like dying every second of the day, an unhealthy escape seems more understandable.

Absolutely. Some view this as a triggering word. I do not. Whenever I had the audacity and guts (heavy sarcasm) to discuss my brain disease with people, I would typically be met with silence and an awkward stare. But when someone would ask me if I was suicidal, it would be comforting to me, because it meant that the person had an understanding of the depths of hell the disease could bring.

If you ask someone if they are suicidal, there will be 3 answers:
The first answer is, “No.” That is great. They are struggling but the disease isn’t that severe yet. Your response to that is, “Well, if you do have thoughts of suicide, please reach out. I am here for you any day or time.” And, “I love you.”

The second is, they respond how I would, which is, “I have suicidal ideation but no intent.” This demonstrates the next phase and progression of the disease. It clearly shows the person is not controlled and needs to continue to seek treatment and find relief. Remain a close confidant for this person and state that you are always there for them and want to help them find relief. That word, “relief,” was a huge win every time I heard it. That was what I was seeking. Let them know to call you or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK if they ever need to.

The third answer is, “Yes, I am suicidal and have a plan.” The immediate action is to help them get to the hospital so they remain safe. Continue to be a close part of their life after they are released. Show you care and continue to help them get the help they need in order to be able to live a life free of this horrible disease.

There is no positive to not asking this question.

Yes. Thoughts of suicide were my primary symptom. I had hundreds a day. Literally. These thoughts were as common to me as breathing. I was fortunate to not have intent. And it’s important to know that people who have died by suicide are the opposite of weak or selfish. They are some of the strongest people in the world to have lived in literal hell for as long as they did. I am not better than anyone who has died by suicide, I am just very fortunate with my disease to be one standard deviation of severity less than death. In its most severe form, the brain disease of mental illness is a terminal illness.

Mental illness doesn’t have a consistent look or feel. It can literally be anyone you know. The version of oneself that they portray on the outside could be totally different than how that person feels on the inside. I am a perfect example of that. People would tell me all the time that I was the last person that they would have expected to be suffering from severe depression.

No. I strongly believe that every single Mt Sinai person involved in my clinical trial gets as much credit. They all looked me in the eye. They all believed me that I was suffering. They all wanted me to live disease-free and were in my corner the whole way. They cared. They all had incredible bedside manner. I NEVER had that once in my entire journey. I felt like I was an inconvenience throughout the majority of my care until my clinical trial. It was amazing to be looked at and treated as a human being.